10 Writer Stereotypes I Want to Destroy
Writers are a rare breed. Because they are so rare, people aren’t sure what to make of them. They may seem pretty weird based on one interaction and surprisingly like normal people based on another interaction. Only one writer stereotype I know of is mostly true: we don’t make a lot of money from our writing. We don’t have a lot of moolah like Stephen King, okay? He’s the exception, not the rule. Now that that’s cleared up, let’s talk about the stereotypes that are dead wrong.
- Not every writer is a sensitive, old soul who takes walks along the river, observes the birds, notes their varied, colorful plumage, and in general becomes so inspired by the beauty in nature that she writes the next poem to rival Keats’ “To Autumn.” It’d be exhausting to be inspired all the time. Some of us need to chill and write poems about the mundane and not the sublime, like changing poopy diapers or suffering from concussions.
- Not every writer is freaking miserable all the time nor do we insist on suffering for our art. What do you think we’re doing? Holding back a laugh at a joke? Refusing to see our friends so we can understand what true loneliness is like? Not all of us elect to live an ascetic lifestyle in spartan apartments; we don’t have a lot of furniture because we’re poor.
My big beef with the suffering artist idea is the idea that the only way to gain some insight on the human condition is by suffering. You can learn just as much about the human condition from falling in love and making a new friend. Suffering for the sake of art is an objectively dumb idea that somehow still persists. For those of you who believe this, let me say that you’ll find plenty of opportunities to suffer in life. You can take a ride on the struggle bus whenever you like. It makes frequent stops. Fortunately, I don’t know anyone like this.
3. Not every writer writes only when he’s inspired and it’s a windy autumn day and he’s thinking of writing down some of his thoughts for his next, great literary thriller about the JFK assassination told from Lee Harvey Oswald’s perspective in his moleskin notebook, but first he has to pour some apple cider and then he can curl up in the den next to the window with his mind swirling with ideas.
More often than not, I don’t want to write. That’s like, maybe 90% of the time. I’d rather eat pizza, drink cream soda, and watch RedLetterMedia on YouTube. But I have promises to keep and pages to write before I sleep. Writing can be pure, unadulterated drudgery, even when writing fiction. You have to use your brain when you write, and sometimes our brains don’t work. Successful writers, I imagine, have more brain power than most people. (Or I guess they have self-discipline, a hard work ethic, and important stuff like that.)
4. Not every writer is a socially awkward dweeb who doesn’t know how to communicate with people in real life because that isn’t her preferred medium. This stereotype needs to die a quick death. There’s this idea that the guy who writes poems and keeps to himself most of the time doesn’t know how to navigate the tricky turns in a conversation whilst maintaining his dignity and avoiding becoming an object of ridicule. LOL! This is like using the terms jock, prep, and nerd as a schema for understanding social groups in high school.
I think it’s fair to say that a lot of writers are introverted. Introverted people aren’t interested in dominating in a conversation for the sake of showcasing their communication skills. Our conversational strengths lie in listening and asking thoughtful questions.
5. Not every writer is a grammar Nazi. If you are texting me, I dont care how you spel as long as I understand u. Duz that annoi u? good. Ill keep doin it. deskriptivist grammr boi. But if you’re writing something that’s going to be read by lots of people, if you’ve got a slide in a powerpoint with a typo, or if your copy has a typo or is flamboyantly, grammatically incorrect, I will judge you as harshly as a fire-and-brimstone preacher. Why? Standard written English. Don’t be dangling that modifier in places it shouldn’t be.
6. Not every writer frequents a cafe with other like-minded “intellectuals” like they’re an American expatriate author in Paris in the 1920s. Some of us live on chicken farms in the middle of Dyckesville. Some of us don’t know anybody else brave enough to admit that they write. Some of us don’t even drink coffee.
7. Not every writer is J.K. Rowling or Stephen King. In other words, not every writer makes a living from their published works. A lot of writers have day jobs, some of which are completely unrelated to writing.
8. Not every writer is a mentally unstable, emotionally turbulent, depressed loner. A lot of us have friends. Some of us have friends who show up to our apartment unannounced. Some of us have friends who won’t stop texting us. A lot of us, I would say, write because we get a kick out of telling stories. It isn’t a blast 100% of the time, but when it’s going well, it’s a joy and an escape.
9. Not every writer is a screenwriter in LA who hangs out in a coffee shop with his laptop and can’t finish his brilliant screenplay about a writer trying desperately to get his screenplay picked up. Give us some credit. We’re more creative than that.
10. Not every writer is a snobby, overly serious, pretentious bore who aspires to become part of the “literary elite” in order for his ego to be stroked. There are plenty of writers who like Taylor Swift songs and The Simpsons, don’t care how many people know that they’re a writer, don’t know the meaning of the word quixotic, are really goofy, and love a good Harry Hole crime thriller. We don’t sit around reading Proust and becoming truly tormented about what the rest of “society” doesn’t see.
